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Dear Friend:

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Dear Friend,

 

You are my best friend, and I want to keep being best friends. But this is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about for a while and today was an example of it.

I know you have a little brother. And I understand that being with him a lot might have some “side effects” on how you treat people.

I do not want to hurt your feelings, but to make this friendship work we need to talk about problems. I’ve been holding back something from you that has bothered me for a while and I think today I have to tell you about it.

You talk down to me, and some of your other friends. You refer to me being like your little brother because I can get really annoying. I’m fine with that, the thing that bothers me is how when I really do get on your nerves you talk to me like I actually am your little brother. I’ve seen you do it to Ashley too.

I respect you Friend, as my friend and as a human being in general. But I feel like you don’t respect me. And that really hurts. Best friends are supposed to see eye to eye, they are supposed to be equals. But today when you complained about me talking down to you, I was talking to you about (what I thought was) a serious issue, and I wasn’t.

I wasn’t talking to you like you were a child, I wasn’t telling you it was your fault. I was explaining how you misunderstood some of the things you did, and how she misunderstood some of the things you did (she referring to other person). I was trying to help the situation, but you didn’t listen to what I was saying, and you kept on talking in your fake voice and putting the blame on other person.

You guys both misunderstood each other which caused some tension.

I can agree that other person overacted a little when you spilled the paint. But you have to imagine the feeling that your project (that’s due in like two weeks) that you’ve been working so hard on is completely ruined. I know it wasn’t but she thought that it was. And I know for a fact that you would act the same way a first. She was a little over dramatic with it, but everyone’s a little over dramatic when you think about it. And eventually, she let it go. And you did too.

But when you pointed out that she was being rude, that made it more awkward. She didn’t know she was being rude because instead of throwing around comments bluntly, you probably would have said she was acting bossy. And she didn’t want to come off as that. So she tried to make everything into a joke to loosen the tension. That’s the thing that you misinterpreted.

She misinterpreted when you were doing your fake voice (which I personally think you use as a defence mechanism for when you feel uncomfortable, insecure or  awkward) as being rude. But you were just joking. Both of your things were kind of similar in a way. But let’s not get into that right now.

We are almost to the part that I’m mad at you for.

So then when she explains why she thinks you’re the one being rude you say: “careful” and then she says “what?” and you say “be careful.”

Friend? Come on! That does not help the situation AT ALL! And if we were talking to the dean here, this would technically be a threat. Really? That really just got me thinking: really? I can’t believe my best friends, the one person that I thought was sane on this planet really just said that? It’s so unnecessary!

Here is the part I’m mad at you for:

After that we all have an awkward moment and I’m just thinking: we can’t be like this if we’re going to be stuck in this project together. So I think to myself, Friend will understand and be the bigger person after I talk to her and everything will be fine. But when I talk to you:

 

  1. You keep on blaming other person for everything
  2. You keep on trying to avoid the conversation by going back to work on the project
  3. YOU were talking down to ME
  4. You kept doing that fake voice

 

You and I have never gotten into a serious fight before. And I don’t think you’ve really experienced how sensitive I can be. You talk down to me everyday. You don’t think of me as an equal.

And you’ve told me how you think you’re better than everyone else. And I think that too. But how better are you really when you stoop down to the same level as the person you’re complaining about.

When I was best friends with Harper, one thing I never did that she did every single day was lie. I stuck my ground because I knew that even though she made me look like a fool in front of everyone else. On the inside, she knew that what she was doing was wrong because I would catch her on her lies. And that made me know that I was better than her. I never stooped down to her level, which makes me the better person in the end.

I thought you thought that too, but I don’t think you do. I think what I thought was true, is now just a sign of vanity. And before you go looking down on everyone else and making them feel bad and saying that you’re better than all of them, you should look at yourself and see if you really are better than all of them.

Because I do, I think you and me are better than a lot of people. But today, you weren’t.

And I’m not writing down to you right now, because I see you as an equal so I could never do that. It’s literally impossible for me to talk down to you. Even if you think I am, I’m not.

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Dear Friend: