The Best Food

Rice is fantastic.

A common topic among strangers and the uninteresting is food. In it, is the question, “What’s your favorite food?” And most answers are really bland. Pizza, sushi, chocolate, all of them are sub-par and unlikely to widen any eyes. Mine’s special. My reply is rice.

Rice is not boring. Like a piece of paper used as a base to create art, rice serves as the base for the other ingredients while also enhancing the flavor of the dish. Rice absorbs their fats and oils and juices like a sponge and takes it to the next level. Its glory will always be unrecognized and unappreciated, but without its presence the integrity of any meal that includes it would be tarnished.

Firstly, looks matter. I’m not shallow. The truth of life is that how attractive things are makes a substantial difference in how they’re treated and how we view them. Rice is no exception. Its beauty comes from inherit qualities that other inferior foods just can’t compare to. It’s simple, fluffy, and white. Rice personified is the impeccable fusion of the attractiveness of Jessica Alba and the genius of Albert Einstein. Its natural good looks takes it a step further than other foods. Just a bowl of rice in good lighting looks tasty.

Rice’s greatness can partly be attributed to the variety of forms it can take that each have different flavors and unique textures. You can eat it plain, throw it some soup, turn it into noodles, create rice cakes, dump some curry on it, get rice syrup, throw some meat in it, make rice candy, throw it in a burrito, whatever you want. It’s just so manipulable and compatible. Sometimes when my filthy mother is too lazy to turn on the stove and throw some beef in there and I’m too lazy to obtain an important life skill, I’ll just throw some salted seaweed on a bowl of rice and cry. The thing can go with anything. While other foods that are eaten often for a certain period of time often lose their good taste and start feeling familiar, rice can be consumed daily without consideration, like water. People all around the globe shovel it in their mouths without thinking and go on with their day like champions. And they love it.

Not only this, but rice has a heavenly quality of taste. A mouthful of slightly sticky rice has a subtle and supple flavor that spreads through the mouth like a wave of pure pleasure. The plumpness of the mound incites one to dig in with no shame. Right when you get a bit bored, you take some meat and clean your palate for even more rice. Like a prostitute seduced by a charming customer, any who experiences the privilege of eating perfect rice is sucked into a world of ecstasy.

Woah, what’s this last sentence here for? Turns out that I have a donkey’s load of work to do. 500 words is quite the amount, I’ll let you know. I’m not lazy. I just have more fun things to do.