Headphones On

I walked down the street with my headphones on. Trying my best to tune out the world. I had many reasons to not want to pay attention to the world but I don’t want to talk about them right at this moment. I crossed the street after looking both ways, as I had been told to by my mother. I barely talk to my mother but it doesn’t really bother me. My friends tell me that that could be the reason that I don’t care about my grades or basically everything. After I crossed the street, I walked down the block for a couple minutes. Then looked to see if anybody was in the street. After looking for a while, I walked to the middle of the street and just kept walking down it. I know, I know it’s not safe, a car could just come up out of nowhere, blah, blah, blah. The weird thing is that I don’t care. I’m not suicidal or anything, I actually have a pretty average and good life. Basically, I’m not complaining.

I walked down the street for a long time and I didn’t see ONE car. The amount that I had been walking was equal to about five blocks. Once I got to the huge bush filled with bees, my neighborhood is weird, I turned left and got to my house. It was about four pm when I got to my house. I had been walking for about an hour and my school isn’t even that far away. I just took a little detour at a diner that I saw on my way. I’ve been really into old, vintage diners and restaurants. I saw Ethan sitting in a corner staring at his phone really intensely when I was at the diner. I had a crush on him in second grade but not that I’m in eleventh, I barely notice him anymore.

I don’t have a lot of friends. It’s not a problem for me though. I don’t really need that many friends. I mean I have a guy friend called Luis. I think he likes me but I just see him as my brother so sadly for him, it’s not going to happen. He bugs me about it sometimes but not as much anymore. We were supposed to hang out today but my mom already yelled at me today for accidentally not putting my breakfast dish in the sink so I got into a bad mood. I also had a lot of homework. For some reason I actually did feel like doing homework that day so I sat at my desk and did it. It took me about an hour and a half but it didn’t annoy me. My mother had left for work after yelling at me so I blasted music while doing my essay.

I have a really interesting life, you could say but I don’t think much of it. Sometimes I even forget about my background. That’s how much it doesn’t bother me. Right at the beginning, I couldn’t stop thinking about it but now I never talk about it. I think the only person who knows about it is Luis. He knows not to talk about it to me and especially anybody else. We hang out almost everyday so I felt bad about turning him down today. But I knew that if I said yes, I would’ve been in a bad mood and incidentally treating him badly. My mother keeps telling me to date him but I don’t think it’ll work and I also don’t want to ruin our amazing friendship. Well, that’s all I want to talk about right now. I’ll be back to tell you more, I promise.