Why having Airpods makes you superior

(Before I start, this article is meant as a complete joke, so don’t get angry, please.) Hey what’s good. Now we’re just gonna cut to the chase. Last week there was a teachers strike. But that’s real world news, and we don’t talk about any of that here. We’re talking about the best product made by apple ever. Quite a big statement, I know. But if by now you don’t own a pair, then you’re irrelevant and a loser. So why should you have at least 7 pairs of the Airpods at the ready? Well, that’s what I will be informing you about.

  1. You become a cool kid: You might be a complete nerd, with no friends, or anyone that cares for you. But as soon as you get these toilet plunger looking earbuds in you ear holes, you will be the talk of the school. Everyone will want to be your friend, even be you. You have Airpods, you can listen to music, with no wires to restrain you, “nothing to hold you down” as some of the kids say these days. You might get some hate, people will say they look like unused tampons sticking out of your ears. But it is okay, they’re just jealous. Related image
  2. You wont be a broke boy anymore: You might sleep on a bed of leaves, only eat cup noodles every night, and have to carry your brother on you back every single day to school because you can’t afford a car. But, if you can afford Airpods then you can be apart of the “airpods gang” as the kids call it. You can look like the CEO you’ve always wanted to be. Walk around with the confidence you always wanted. Even speak an whole new language called ‘Rich’. Maserati Lamborghini Ferrari Gucci Louis Vuitton Supreme Bape. Oh- I’m sorry I just said a sentence in rich. If you had Airpods in you would know that I said “Kids its not safe hear, the people have wires in their Airpods.”
  3. They don’t fall out: The haters say its not worth it. Your friends are disappointed in you for spending over $160 on a pair of earbuds. Why? “Why did I do this to myself?” You ask. Then, you realize the secret all along that got you to buy these in the first place. No. Wire. Then, in that exact moment, you feel at the top of your game. You start doing jumping jacks, somersaults, and running 5 marathons just to prove the freedom you have with them on. You will scream “They don’t fall out!” Then you will probably lose all of your friends so don’t actually do that. Image result for airpods memeNow that you know all of the affects of Airpods. It is time for you to get yourself a pair, and join the airpod gang. Because now you know for sure they are worth an arm, a leg, two pay checks, all of your dignity, and all of the friends you will lose after you purchase them.