The what to do guide about Altoids

Hey guys, after escaping the law in Columbia. I've have come to California to talk about a product I'm passionate about. Altoids.

As a Altoid enthusiast, I shall give you a what to do guide about Altoids. The haters may say that it tastes like Clorox, but don’t listen to them because they’ve admitted that they once tasted Clorox before. But you should just trust me & me only, as I’m the expert on Altoids & not them. So let’s get this started shall we? When you have your first Altoid box, the first thing you should do is savoir every mint that is inside it. After that, buy another 4 boxes because you secretly know that you love Altoids due to the first box. Now to make this clear, there are 3 noticeable different boxes with different flavors. These flavors are peppermint, cinnamon, & wintergreen. You shouldn’t choose wintergreen & cinnamon, only peppermint. After buying the 4 boxes of Peppermint Altoids, you have 3 choices to what to with them. Build a Altoid tower, break the mints until it’s nothing but dust & then snort it, or just have one like a normal person.

I heavily recommend that you choose the former two as if you want to become Altoid enthusiast like me, you must choose the first two options. If you have went with the first option, building a Altoid tower, so here’s how you build one. First off, take the Altoids box & then have it like a stand. How do you do this, you may ask? Well, have the Altoid box face sideways & then plant it on the slim side of the box. Second, do the same with the next box but put it next to the other  box you planted down. Third, place another Altoid box but this time, put it flat on top of the two boxes.

Finally, repeat the first three steps & if you run out of Altoids boxes. Just buy more, at least 12 of them & if the boxes hit the ceilings or something like that. Just knock it over & start over outside of your house.  Now the second option, crushing the mints & then snorting the mint dust. The naysayers may say that it’s completely dangerous to snort them  but don’ listen to them. They may say that it damages your lungs but it’s worth it in the end, but how is it worth it you may say? Don’t ask, just do it. After doing either doing building a tower or snorting the mints. Go to the woodland hills target store, over there. You may see a homeless man, go up to him & ask him “you got the good stuff”. After asking him that, he will hand you over a weird bag of white stuff. Now, it may smell weird & doesn’t look mints that are crushed. But trust me, they are mints. After getting them, head back to your house & snort them like you previously did with your mints.  Finally, snorting the mints may make you feel lightheaded. But don’t worry, it’s only the sid- I mean it’s only a coincidence. The final step to this what to do about Altoids is to repeat this guide everyday & to spread the word about this guide.