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A Few (Strange) School Stories

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I’m in eighth grade, which means I’ll be graduating this year. My experience at Hale hasn’t been all bad, despite being in Steam when I’m a thespian and all the stress that’s been put on me because of that. I’ve made some amazing friends and had some really great teachers, but I think the things I will remember until I die are the strange encounters I’ve had here. Let me say that I have met some crazy people at this school, which isn’t a bad thing. If anything, it’s the weird, questionable people I meet that made my middle school experience. Some of these people ended up becoming friends of mine, and others I haven’t talked to since.

That time I gave my friend wasabi, soy sauce, and ginger and he got sick

Let’s go all the way back to sixth grade, when I was edgy emo eleven year old Katie. I had a small group of friends, and we all hung out by a planter in the sixth grade patio. There are only a few things I remember about sixth grade. This one was when I used to pack small sushi platters from Trader Joe’s in my lunch. I didn’t like the soy sauce, ginger or wasabi, so I gave it to my friend (who, mind you, was literally crazy.) Long story short, I saw him hunched over a garbage can, sick.

That time my current best friend hated me

This story is about the me and the emo girl who sits next to me in this class. In sixth grade, we literally hated each other. She scared me to be honest with you. One day, I don’t remember what I did, but she kicked my in the knee (which I had already hurt pretty bad) and I fell. I ended up having a knee brace for around two months. In seventh grade, we ended up becoming great friends, and we laugh about it now.

That/those time(s) my math & science teacher roasted us

For anyone who is in Steam, you may know who I’m talking about. I won’t say who it is, but let me tell you that I think this guy hated my guts. He would always unintentionally roast all the kids in the class and soon became the biggest meme of Hale in 2016. One time in particular, he was explaining that we were going to watch a video on the rain forest. Then he proceeds to say, and I quote him exactly, “Yes, the bird in this video dabs. And he dabs a lot better than all of you.” What an icon. Then he made us watch the Lion King, arguing that it showed the different biomes and animals and crap.

Now, lets go forward a year. It’s August 2017, and young Katie has now gained some common sense (thank God). By this time, I had a pretty awesome group of friends. I was happy for the most part. Here are some stories from my seventh grade year.

That time I went to the nurse and my friend cured me of my sickness (sort of)

So, I’m feeling sick and my teacher sends me to the nurse. My mom agrees to come pick me up, so there I am. Sat in the chair, resting my aching head on my cactus themed backpack. Then, I hear a monotone, “hello, Kaitlyn.” I look over and see my friend (the same guy who ate the soy sauce, wasabi & ginger), sitting in the corner of the bathroom, hugging a trashcan to his chest (gross, right?) I say hello back, and he starts to whisper to the trashcan. I knew this kid’s creepy tendencies, so I ignored him. Then, he says, “trashcan, you’re my best friend. Want to know why?” He paused, then said, “because I’m Santa Clause.” But, that wasn’t even the weirdest part, no no no. He proceeds to throw the trashcan across the room and scream, “BUT I’M JEWISH!” At this point, I was crying with laughter. He continued to ramble, and the only thing I remember specifically is when the nurse told him to stop talking because he would probably make himself sick again. An aid walks in the room and starts telling us how he told a girl in the hall to stop running. She didn’t listen, but karma got her I guess because she fell and broke her ankle. I didn’t find this very funny, and I don’t think my friend did either. When I looked at him, pure horror was strewn across his face. See, that’s what got me laughing. Then I sneezed and he gave me a blank stare and said, “stop sneezing.” I think he cured my cold that day. Interestingly, we are no longer friends.

That crazy substitute that thought I was a feminist & expressed her hate for kids who laughed at farts

I walk into my sixth period class, which was my English class. I sit down as normal and notice there is a substitute. She had a heavy Russian accent and began to take attendance. Whenever she called someone’s name and they said “here”, she would snap her head left and right saying in pure confusion, saying, “who? where?” until she found the person. Then, she told us she was going to choose a teacher for the day (what are we, six?) Lo and behold, she chose me. I start the lesson and call on a few boys. Their answers didn’t exactly match the ones on the answer sheet, so I called on a few girls. They had accurate answers, so I allowed them to write them on the board. Then the teacher says, “oh, you’re a feminist?” I quickly replied and told her I was not a feminist. As the class was doing some work and I was stood at the front of the class, not a clue what to do, the sub walks up to me and says, “you know? I hate it when kids are like..” -she made a face of utter disgust – “OH, SHE FARTED,” emphasizing every word. I, naturally began laughing hysterically. Little did I know this woman would soon become my favorite substitute teacher (that sub who does youtube is chill too).

That time my English teacher had a random outbursts about greasers and cherry

This story also takes place in my English class during a discussion about The Outsiders. The teacher ,was talking about how the greasers had uncommon names, like Sodapop and Ponyboy, and how the socs all had ordinary names like Randy and Bob. She asked why Sherri Valance was called Cherry, and I raised my hand immediately. I explained how Cherry had red hair (like a cherry) so that was her nickname. My teacher proceeds to shout, out of the blue, “OKAY CLASS, GREASERS ARE GREASY. CHERRY IS A CHERRY,” clapping her hands with each syllable. We were all understandably puzzled by her shouting, but I don’t think anyone remembers this but me.

That/those time(s) when my math teacher made us think she was a satanist

My old math teacher was a triangle fanatic, which made many kids believe she was apart of the illuminati, and she knew about this. I have to quick stories on this. As my dad was driving me t school, I noticed a triangle painted on the road and it reminded me of her. When I got to school, I jokingly told her that I saw a triangle on the street today, but she just took it from 0 to 100 by saying, “yes! You’ll see triangles everywhere!” she smiled widely, which honestly made me really uncomfortable. She then exclaimed, “WELCOME KATIE!” and I walked into class. For our next story, let’s fast forward to around the end of the year. She was asking if we had an questions on homework, and someone had said that they were confused on problem 6-66. She said as she wrote down the three numbers, “six! six! ..this doesn’t mean anything! SIX!” To this day I still wonder if she’s apart of the illuminati. For those of you in 7th grade Steam, you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about.

That time a kid in my science class got stuck in his hoodie and my teacher did nothing

So, it’s a normal day in my science class..we’re doing nothing. I start teasing one of my friends (we’ll call him Farquad), and he puts his hood over his head, pulls the strings so it closes around his face, and ties the strings around his neck under his legs. I start tasking to someone else, when I hear a crash and a “HELP”. My friend had fallen out of his chair and was stuck in his hood. He had tied the knot so tight, he could not untie it or get his legs out from underneath the string. No one noticed but the people around him, so I stood up and yelled, “Farquad is stuck in his hood, what do I do?” Everyone rushes over, but my teacher continues to sit in the back of the room. One girl in the class got worried, so she started running around trying to find scissors. She then yelled, “I think he’s suffocating!” this grabbed my teacher’s attention, and he responded with, “who?” Long story short, the girl saved my friend and got a standing ovation. That was a fun day.

I could go on and on about seventh grade, but now let’s take a minute to look at the present. I know it’s only been three months in school, but some weird things have happened already. There’s not a lot, but there’s enough to add into the article. Let’s take a moment and recap them and appreciate the happiness they’ve brought me in my final year at Hale.

That time my former history teacher found a scorpion in his class and gave it to my science teacher

Advisory has just ended and I’m walking to my locker. My best friends stops me to tell me that our old history teacher had found a scorpion in his class and gave it to our science teacher. I was of course appalled and couldn’t wait for my science class. When I got there, sure enough, there was a small scorpion in a plastic box with holes in it. We all stared at it for a while, until we were told to sit down. Around the end of class, the scorpion (who I had named Robert) sat lifeless, so rethought him dead. The death of Robert was a sorrowful, time, but not for long because then we discovered he was still alive. I joked to my friend, “I just met God, she was a scorpion.” The next day I walk into class, expecting to see Robert. When I notice that the box is gone, I ask my teacher what happened to him. She stammers and stares blankly at the floor, “Robert’s uh…in a happy place.” I asked, “wait did Robert die?” she continued to stare at the floor and said, “he’s in a happy place.” R.I.P. Robert. You were the best scorpion I’ve ever met.

That time my math sub scared me

I walk into my math class and realize we have a sub, the same substitute who thought I was a feminist to be exact. I sit down and she begins with her weird antics, which I ignore. After taking attendance, she tells us what we have to work on and I (and a few others) start. After a while, a girl in the back raises her hand and the sub calls on her. I sit in the front, so I turn around to face her. Before she could even get to her question, she stammers and tries to grab the sub’s attention again. I turn around to see what the sub was doing, and I turn to see her face two inches away from mine. I screamed (naturally) and scooted my chair away from her. She says in her Russian accent, “Kaitlyn, come here, I want to tell you a secret.” I replied, “I don’t want to hear your secret!” Then, she leans over the desk, grabs me by the wrists and pulls me forward, saying, “LET ME TELL YOU MY SECRET” I repeat what I said before and shake myself out her her grip. I can never think of secrets the same way again.

That time I made a kid really sad when he was looking for a guy named Daniel

This story is short, but I like it. I was walking out of the F building with my friend to go to our lockers. In the crowd of seventh graders, there’s one kid holding a book above his head, shouting, “IS ANYONE NAMED DANIEL HERE? IS DANIEL HERE?” Jokingly, I raise my hand and say, “my name is Daniel.” The kid’s eyes lit up and he looked so excited when he handed me the book. Trying not to laugh, I said, “no my name isn’t Daniel.” his face fell and he left the crowd, broken but not defeated. I hope he found Daniel.

 

There you have it folks. The many strange encounters I’ve had here at Hale. Weird people can either make or break your school year, and for me they always make it. There’ll be more strange encounters in the months of school to come, so you can expect an article like this one sometime later in the year. Hopefully you have had some laughs, and if you haven’t, go talk to that weird kid in the corner reading Donald Trump x Putin. It may just make your day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Few (Strange) School Stories