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Rating My Teachers

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Teachers more or less make or break your school year. If you have knowledgeable, competent teachers, odds are you’re going to learn more and do better in your class. This year, I have been provided with a decently capable group of educators- some more capable than others. I thought it would be reasonable if I wrote an article that summarizes my thoughts about my new group of teachers. Why not grade them for once? I should note that this is in no specific order and I will not be including my PE teacher nor my elective teacher (sorry, Mr, McCabe, but you already know you’re an icon) because they don’t, academically, teach anything. I’ll also be using the nicknames I’ve gifted my teachers, as I think it’s more funny and also I don’t want to be persecuted against in the unlikely event one of them reads this.

Period Two, English: Sledgehammer

Really quirky and odd. Her class is very unorganized and chaotic, which is alright, but only to an extent. I’m actually writing this article in her class at the moment because we had 7 hours to take a test I finished in 20 seconds. She’s one of those “the bell doesn’t dismiss you; I do” type of teachers which annoys me to no end. Like, woman, I have a locker across campus and 15 minutes to talk to my friends and eat something- just let me leave. In the beginning of the year we had to do this weird chant-like thing before we left that I absolutely hated. I think she finally realized we were an 8th grade class, rather than a 2nd grade one a few days ago. We no longer sound like an optimistic cult every time we leave the classroom, so that’s good, right? She likes me a lot, though, which is a nice thing with an English teacher. Overall, she gets a C+.

Period Three, Science: Egghead

Oh, how I loathe Egghead. He tries to be funny and relatable, but half the time, his jokes fall about as flat as his head, and he ends up silently giggling at himself as his class full of angsty 13 yr olds roll their eyes. Kinda feel bad for the guy. He’s not a terrible teacher, but he’s just boring. He also has a tendency to call on people who aren’t raising their hands. Just because I’m not eager to tell you speed= distance/time doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. And like, all of a sudden, we’re doing math in science??? No??? Please?? I don’t look forward to this class. Best part about it so far was getting to watch Bill Nye on Thursday. Egghead gets a D.

Period Four, Algebra: God

I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH. He is another level of iconic. His nickname derived from an incident that occurred when one of my group-mates called him over to ask whether or not we had to graph something. He started talking about how it’s up to us and how it’s not if we can, but if we should as well as some other preachy stuff. The chick who called him over said something relating to Adam and Eve and engaged in a somewhat philosophical conversation with God. Bad idea, Olivia. When he walked away, I leaned in and asked, “Does that mean, in this analogy, *insert his actual name* is God?” He immediately turned around and made eye contact with me for a few seconds after. I came to the conclusion that in EVERY analogy, this man is God. I can confirm God is not only terrifying, but also a good teacher and relatively impressive artist. The drawings he leaves on your test if you get full credit are the only reason I study. He doesn’t even know my name, which is totally fine by me. I’m just a number to him, and I don’t care as long as I’m not failing his class. This man highkey is carefree. A+ for sure.

Period Six, History: Marinara Sauce

I look forward to sixth period. Marinara Sauce is a great teacher, and I love the way his class is ran and structured. I sit next to two of my good friends in his class, so it’s nice to mouth some random comment to them when I get bored, which is very rare in this class. As for his nickname, I hadn’t actually given him one yet, so I came up with something off the top of my head that sounds similar to his actual name. Teaching American history is no easy task. Marinara Sauce is obligated to stay neutral about most topics, and I can see the struggle in his eyes as he attempts not to trigger any overly-sensitive kid, thus losing his job. We stan for his class. Not much to say other than that he does his job really well. A rating of an A+ does the trick.

That’s about it for my teachers. This article is wayyyy longer than I expected it to be, but I guess I have a lot more to say about the people who I spend 5 hours a week staring at than I originally thought.

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